Renesmee Questions
by LoveAlwaysComplex124
Summary: Being the youngest is always hard because you miss out on things. Renesmee's fully grown in this story and she's starting to get curious about her family and her questions make them feel uncomfortable. T for mild suggestive themes.
1. Renesmee questions Jacob

**Me and my friend were just thinking of ways people could make Edward snap then we moved on to Jacob and I just thought that what we were talking about made a good series of oneshots.**

**If you're Team Jacob, I suggest you don't read this because while I'm a Jacob fan too, this has a lot of making fun of Jacob in a mean way. Oh and Jacob gets back with a mean comment at Edward which **_**I**_** would find funny but I'm not sure about you guys.**

**I guess you can say I'm just naturally mean.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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_Renesmee Questions_

RPOV

I never had to think about whether or not I loved Jacob. I mean, come on. He imprinted on me and he's been there all my 8 years but mentally, 17 years. I got to go to high school with the family now. But when I talk with my friends, who think I'm just dating an older guy, we get into some pretty weird conversations.

"Hey Ness," Jacob comes up to me.

"Hey Jake," I greet back.

"You seem kinda troubled," he says.

Figures it's the subject of the topic that always notices.

"Not really," I answer, "Just a few questions."

"Maybe I could answer them," he suggests.

I think back to my conversations with Liz and Jen. _But isn't it weird dating someone more than 3 years older than you?_ That was Jen's question.

"My friends and I were talking," I explain, "And Jen says that it's weird that I'm dating you because you look old."

"What, 25?" he asks, "Pshaw, at least I'm my _mental_ age too. And I won't age again for a while so it's good."

"Yeah but Jake," I try and get him to understand even though I didn't understand what _he_ said, "I've _stopped aging_ too. I'm forever 17."

"Meaning…?"

"Sorry to break it to you Jake, but while I'm forever 17, you're forever a somewhat pedophile. Then there's that 17 year difference between us. I _am_ just _8_."

"Yeah well, what about your parents? They have some serious age problems."

"What about them? They're around the same age."

"Nessie, your father is over a century old."

"Yeah but at least my dad looks 17 while my mom looks a day from 19."

"This means they have an 86 year difference and you're worried about 17 years and… and 8 years?"

"I gue--"

"Not to mention Carlisle and Esme! He over 300 years old! That's a 255 year difference!"

"You had a lot of time to think and do math, didn't you?"

"Yeah well…"

"What?" This is weird. Jacob usually tells me everything.

"No, nothing."

"Seriously, tell me."

"Well I was originally gonna use it as a reason for your mom to stay away from your dad."

Well, there's a shocker. I remember a question I came up with after my conversation with Liz and Jen.

"I actually have another question," I say.

"What?"

"Weren't you like, really in love with my mom and made out with her a few times?"

He looks extremely uncomfortable. Normally, I'd stop here but I'm too curious.

"Well, that's not really a good topic," he says.

"Why? Also, didn't Dad once tell you that it's ok for you to have a kid with her?"

"It wasn't that simple…"

"Wasn't it?"

"Technically, but--"

"So it's true?"

"Well yes, but--"

"Ok then, ok then."

"Nessie, don't just back away like I'm a creep."

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**Ok so just pretend that this took place in 2014 because that's when Renesmee's 8****th**** birthday is. I know it ended not that funny, but I was bored and I just got out of school. In fact, I'm so bored; I'll probably end up making more chapters where Renesmee makes everyone uncomfortable. Whether I have readers or not!**


	2. Renesmee questions Edward

**My keyboard's not working so I'm using the onscreen keyboard and I feel so official about it that I started singing a variation of the theme song for the legend of Zelda.**

**She annoys Edward today so you might want to breathe in and out over and over until you're ready to read this just in case you're an Edward fan.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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_Renesmee Questions_

RPOV

After my conversation with Jake, I started forming questions in my head. Daddy came up to me.

"You had some questions?" he asks me.

Dad, I'd appreciate it if you don't read my mind.

"Sorry," he says.

"Anyway, I have questions," I change the subject.

"What are they?" he asks. Good thing I started blocking him from my mind or else he'd want to leave.

_Wind, Rain, Shadow, Wood, Sword, Thunder, Power, Sleep,_

_Cardcaptors of the Clow,_

_Expect the unexpected now._

"You know how you and Mom are together, right?"

_The secrets of the Clow,_

_Was all a mystery,_

"Right…"

_But when this mighty book was opened,_

_The powers were set free._

"Didn't it ever occur to you that you might have been a pedophile?"

_Cardcaptors, a mystic adventure._

_Cardcaptors, a quest for all time._

"That isn't really a good topic for an eight year old…"

_Each card possesses a power of its own,_

_We've got to find them to bring the power home_

"That's like what Jake said. You two are alike!"

He growls at that comment.

"Fine, no. It did not occur to me that I was a pedophile. But what about Carlisle--"

_Wind, Rain, Shadow, Wood, Sword, Thunder, Power, Sleep,_

"Yeah, yeah, I know. 255 years, got it."

_Cardcaptors of the Clow, _

_Expect the unexpected now._

"This is about _you_," I say, "I have another question. You know how you climbed into Mom's room a lot?"

_Cardcaptors, a mystic adventure,_

_Cardcaptors, a quest for all time,_

_Cardcaptors, Cardcaptors!_

"Yes?"

"Isn't that like a stalker?"

_It started when an alien device did what it did_

_And stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid_

"Nessie, why are you blocking your thoughts?"

_Now he's got super powers, he's no ordinary kid_

"Why are you trying to read my thoughts?"

_He's Ben 10._

"Is this from that mutt's influence?"

_So if you see him you might be in for a big surprise,_

"No it's not. Are you trying to say I'm impolite and rude?"

_He'll turn into an alien before your very eyes_

_He's slimy, freaky, fast and strong, he's every shape and size_

"Nessie…"

_He's Ben 10_

"Answer the question, Dad."

_Armed with powers, he's on the case_

_Fighting off evil from Earth or space_

"It was not like a stalker because your mom was okay with me being there."

_He'll never stop till he makes them pay_

"That was _after_ she knew you were around. Would she have been okay if she knew from the first night?"

_'Cause he's the baddest kid to ever save the day_

"Sure. She loves me and I love her."

_Ben 10_

"Sure she does, Dad, sure she does. You don't really know that since you can't read her mind. What if she was actually in love with Mike Newton?"

_Hello Kitty, Play with us today._

"That's impossible. She hated him."

_We'll laugh and sing on this lovely sunny day._

"That could have been her flirting with him."

_All your friends are waiting for you, ready to run and play._

"That's impossible."

_Everyone will gather round. This is what they'll say:_

"And so were the existence of vampires."

_"When we see your friendly smile, you brighten up our day."_

"Nessie." I can hear the warning in his voice.

_Oh! Hello, Hello Kitty, Hello's your friend._

_Your smile is pretty like a flower that's in bloom._

"Temper, temper."

_Love is in your heart. It sings a happy tune._

_Hello, Hello Kitty. Play with us today._

He sighs. "Are you trying to imply something?" he asks.

"Nope," I say, "Just wondering."

**It's longer today because Nessie needed to block Edward off. That's what all the random lyrics were. Review in any victim you want to read on. If not, next chapter is Bella.**


	3. Renesmee questions Alice

**Ok so a reviewer, whose pen name is Alex61097 (took me a while to remember that when I remembered copy and paste existed. I never was good with numbers) reviewed in an idea about Alice. So there you go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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_Renesmee Questions_

RPOV

I almost got grounded after that last incident with Dad. He says and I quote '_One more time and you're grounded. __**Missy**_.' Ha! Nice going Dad! Who calls anyone who's not named Missy, Missy?!

"Nessie," he called in a warning voice from upstairs.

"Sorry Dad!" I called up.

Alice comes dancing in to the living room.

"Aunt Alice? What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"I can't visit my niece?" she asks me instead of answering.

"Seriously, what are you doing here?"

"Just got bored. Jazz is off doing what he usually does and everyone else is hunting," she answered sitting down on our couch.

We both sit in silence.

"Aunt Alice?" I stare at her, "Have you ever wondered what you were like when you were human?"

"Well, I already know that I was sent to the asylum for having premonitions," she answers, "They thought I was crazy and just shipped me off." She scoffed at this.

"How do you know you weren't _really_ crazy?"

"What?"

"I mean, that psychic stuff is rare for humans. As in, if Dad ever told anyone he could read minds, they would send him away from hearing voices in his head, right?"

"Yes, but--"

"You don't _really_ know the story. I heard it from Mom who heard from James that James told her about the past. But I mean, come on, the guy was a psycho tracker. He could have mistaken you for someone else."

"What do you _think_ I was?" She cocked an eyebrow and was staring at me like _I_ was the one that needed to be in an asylum.

"A stripper."

"Excuse me?"

"A stripper. It all adds up! The clothes, the clinginess to Uncle Jasper. You were a stripper, Aunt Alice!"

"I was _not _a stripper, mind you."

"You wouldn't know. You can't remember. And I have an explanation for _that_ too."

"Oh, do _humor_ me."

"You know how you were sent to the asylum for being a crazy psycho wacko? You were so crazy, you got _amnesia_!"

"That doesn't make sense."

"Doesn't it, Auntie? Or do you only _think_ it doesn't make sense to protect yourself?"

I pat her shoulder and shake my head for dramatic effect.

"What has Edward been teaching you?" she asks me.

"He doesn't," I say simply, "I go to school with you guys. You know that. The past must be kicking in, huh?"

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! I was _definitely not a stripper or some nut job_!"

"What, you can see the past now, too?"

"I'm telling your father."

"You know what, never mind. I got another theory."

"And what would _that_ be?"

"You... were a DINOSAUR."

"I'm telling Edward."

"Auntie! For what?! I didn't say anything offensive!"

She stares at me.

"Well obviously, we need to consult him about taking you to an asylum. How would you like to go to a little 'field trip' to one?"

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**There. By the looks of things, Renesmee is getting singled out as the craziest of them all. I'm starting to lose ideas on things so if I don't get an idea by Sunday (I can't make a new chapter on Saturday because I have a party to get to and this Friday—today—I'm going to a movie so I can't write one up.) I'll do a mini oneshot sequel about Renesmee's 'fun field trip' to the asylum. Well, it's 5:30 am and I haven't slept in 13 hours.**


	4. Renesmee questions Jasper

**Okay so I got 2 more ideas so I'm updating twice today. This chapter is an idea from SpAzZy CaUsE tHaT's Me. Thanks for the idea!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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RPOV

Today, there is nothing to do. At all. I'm going to go to grandma and grandpa's house for now.

"Bye mom!" I yell into the house before taking off.

I run into the house and see Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett playing video games. Uncle Emmett lost and stomped away.

"Hey Uncle Jasper," I greet him.

"Hey Renesmee," he says.

"So you like video games?"

"Yes."

"Hmm… Uncle Jasper, are you gay?"

"No…"

"Trailing off makes you seem like you're lying," I inform him. He turns to me.

"No Renesmee, I am not gay."

"Repeating your answer makes it even more obvious that you're lying."

"Renesmee, I'm not gay."

"Ok then. Because, you know. Mommy told me about Maria and them. She said that you thought they were beautiful but you didn't even try to uh… get with them."

"Get with them? Are you hanging around Emmett?"

"Nope. Oh and then you were in the newborn war. Bonding with the other _men_, I presume?"

"What? No, there were women too."

"Ah, but did you work with them as much as you did with the _men_?"

"Renesmee, I. Am. Not. Gay."

"Of course you're not," I agree sarcastically, "Just in denial, that's all."

"I'm not gay."

"Then why don't you work with other girls outside your family?"

"They're humans. I have to maintain my control."

"Oh so you have to stay in your own little _world_ where you _fantasize_?"

"Nessie, I'm not gay and I don't fantasize."

"That's what everyone says. Why are you so _close_ with Edward and Emmett?"

"Because they're my brothers. Ness-"

"Because they're your brothers? Or because since they're also vampires, so they're inhumanly beautiful and there would be no problem with relationships?"

"Because they're my brothers. I'll say this again. I am not gay."

"If you're not gay then why haven't you said that you loved Aunt Alice once in this conversation as an excuse?"

I could see his alarm.

"OF COURSE I LOVE ALICE! I'M NOT GAY!" he burst.

"Ok then. I can see you're not ready to face the truth." I walk away. He blocks my way.

"I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY!" he keeps yelling over and over. I go around him.

"Please Uncle Jasper; let's be mature adults about this."

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**Jasper is like, the calmest of them all and I could barely imagine him just getting angry from the start. Well, moving onto the next chapter ^^.**


	5. Renesmee questions Rosalie

**This one is an idea from samiam4edward. Thanks for the idea!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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RPOV

Uncle Emmett was talking to me about how relationships go but then Dad took him away. That left me curious. I guess I can ask Auntie Rose.

"Auntie Rose?" I call into her room. She comes out of her closet.

"Yeah?" she responds.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"Sure."

I jump onto her bed.

"I was talking to Uncle Emmett but then Dad took him away so now I'm curious."

She nods.

"What does he mean by 'hot and heavy'?" I ask.

Her eyes widen.

"He told you about that?" she asked horrified.

"Yeah, what does it mean?"

"It's for adults, Renesmee. I'll tell you when you're 21."

I frown. "Fine."

"What about happy hour?" I ask, "Isn't Uncle Emmett _always_ happy?"

"I can't tell you about that," she says, "It's not meant for children."

"I'm 8! Physically 17!" I stomp my foot.

"Well you're acting _not_ 17 and most definitely not even 8. You're acting like a 5 year old." I scowl.

"What does Uncle Emmett mean by 'Rosie and I play games every night'?" I ask, "Because you said you didn't like playing video games or board games."

"You'll have to wait until you're 21 again." She laughs nervously.

I frown even more. "Why 21?" I ask, "Is there something about those questions?"

"I can't tell you until you're 21." Again, why 21?

"He also said that you two are so 'active' that you've 'broken a lot of houses with your closeness'? Why did you break your houses?"

"I can't tell you until you're 21." Again, with the 21.

"Auntie Rose, do you even _know_ the answers to my questions?" I demand.

"Of course I do honey, but I'm not telling you the answers," she says.

"WHY NOT?" I start throwing a fit, "I'm asking Uncle Emmett!"

Auntie Rose's eyes widen and she runs out before me. Then I hear Uncle Emmett's apologies and a loud bang and 'ow'.

Then it gets silent.

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**Oooooh. I didn't want to write too much about Rose's and Emmett's... happy hour. Next chapter is definitely Bella since I forgot to write that chapter. But I'm still taking ideas so yeah... don't hesitate. I can even do the same person twice or 3 times if you want.**


	6. Renesmee questions Bella

**Here's the Bella chapter but I have no idea what to say (since it's 4:18 am and I'm only slightly tired yet slightly dazed) so you'll be hearing some babbling going on.**

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BPOV (yes, Bella and not Nessie)

I was cooking lunch for _RENESMEE_ _and_ NOT Nessie, when I realized she was staring at me.

"What is it?" I ask, "Why are you staring at me?"

"Hey Mom, Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper dared me to ask you 'Would a condom have worked on Dad?'"

I could feel my eyes widen but Renesmee went on, "What's a condom?"

"Ah, you're not allowed to know until you're 21."

"I asked Auntie Rose some questions and that's what she said too."

"What'd you ask?"

_What kind of questions would Renesmee have to ask to get that kind of response from Rose?_ … Oh.

"Well, I asked what h--"

"Never mind, don't tell me."

We were quiet for a bit.

"You know, don't you think you and Dad were _waaaaay_ too fast?"

She can't be talking about… our… um… free time, right?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you guys are way too forward."

"That's none of your business."

"Geez, don't you guys ever slow down?" She seems truly annoyed of us.

"That's really none of your concern, Renesmee."

"Jake and I aren't that fast. And we're really quick."

_My baby's already starting a relationship with Jacob?! _**I'll kill him.**

"What?! I didn't approve of this!"

"We don't need your approval Mom. You're the ones that are faster than us."

I _know_ Edward and I did not raise her like this.

"Renesmee! Watch your mouth!"

"It's your fault! You guys hunt way too quickly! Jake and I can hardly keep up when you guys keep racing each other!"

I was about to lecture her but then when she said that, I froze.

"Oh. You were talking about that?" _Oops._

"Yes, what else would I have talked about?"

"Um…"

"What were _you_ talking about?" She raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"I was talking about hunting too."

"No you weren't."

"Sure I was."

"No, you weren't." She's really not dropping it.

"… Let's just laugh nervously and drop the subject."

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**Double update! YAY! Oh and if you're wondering why I don't update quickly, I post my author notes on my profile so I don't have to make chapters that say stuff like that.**


	7. Renesmee questions Esme

**I'm becoming so busy lately with my lessons and then my friend's gonna have a tea party and she asked me to make some madeleines for it. Then I have to teach my brother to swim. I know, crazy. But I'm the only one with time. And "patience".**

**This idea was from rayana1997. Thanks for the idea!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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RPOV

I remember when Mom decided to tell me about everyone's history but some of them really made me curious.

"Grandma Esme?" I searched for her when I came over.

"Yes?" she appeared suddenly.

"You know how Mom told me about everyone's past?" I ask. She nodded. "You had a kid, right?"

She nodded sadly.

"Oh no, I wasn't trying to make you _feel_ bad anyway, so yeah," I scrambled to comfort her, "I'm just saying, is grandpa Carlisle ok with being 'the second man'?"

"The second man?"

"Yeah, you know, the guy there to fill the void. The rebound guy."

"Rebound…?"

"Yeah, like Jacob was to Mom."

"No, honey. I love Carlisle more than I did my first husband."

"Is that an untruth?"

"No it isn-"

"I _mean_, sure you love him more than your first husband but what about your _second_ husband?"

"Carlisle _is_ my second husband."

"Affairs, boyfriends, lovers…?"

"None. I'm loyal." She looked very proud of this.

"Yeah, and look where _that_ got you." I roll my eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, you got _abused_ by your first and apparently 'only' human husband."

"That wasn't my fault."

"Course it wasn't."

"Have you been hanging around Emmett lately?"

"Why does everyone ask that?!"

"No reason." She closed _that_ subject rather quickly.

"You know, you said that you were loyal but you ran away when you were pregnant, didn't you?"

"It would have hurt the baby to stay."

"Ok, got it." I rolled my eyes.

"Is grandpa Carlisle jealous that you had a kid that wasn't his?" I ask.

"No, he's ok."

"Yeah but, let's think rationally here. He must have fallen in love with you when you first came in at 16—which I find weird, but who am I to judge? I'm me."

"That is a good point."

"Grandpa Carlisle must have been crazy jealous… Think he was the possessive type?"

Grandma Esme looked guilty and ready to dry sob and I started freaking out. Uncle Emmett came down just in time.

"Oh no, Uncle Emmett, why did you say that?" I said loudly. Then I ran.

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**It's kinda hard to make fun of Esme when she's so caring. It makes Renesmee go from innocently curious to insensitive. Sorry I haven't been able to update. Anyway, next up is Jasper and Edward again!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! (Oh and I still take requests on characters and ideas)**


	8. Renesmee questions Jasper again

**My summer's going by way too quickly. I'm already a quarter ways in and I want to do everything but I'm having a hard time starting on all these tasks…**

**This request was from rayana1997.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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JPOV (Yes, Jasper.)

I was reading a book about civil war and scoffing at it when I felt someone's overwhelming curiosity. I look up and I see Renesmee standing in the doorway watching me.

No, I did not forget the last time we talked and she was curious.

"What is it?" I ask warily.

"Uncle Jasper, are you okay?" she asks me.

"Of course I am," I answer, "…Why?"

"My friends and I were talking--"

I cut her off. "Your gossiping friends again?" But she continues not acknowledging my question.

"—and they said you had a serious problem."

"_Serious problem_?"

"Yes. Anyway, they said that you're being insensitive. Just glaring at everyone."

"I wasn't glaring at anyone in particular. I was trying to keep my control."

"I told them that you weren't glaring at anyone too. They told me that you look like you hate life. They say to tell you that life is short so you should savour it. Then they said to tell you that some people wanted to live but couldn't and by hating life, you're offending them. They say and I quote 'You have no idea how any of us feel'."

She said this all with a nonchalant face.

"First, I'm a vampire. Life _isn't_ short for me. Second, I'm an empath. I know _exactly_ how they feel."

Nessie shrugs. "Their words. Not mine."

I roll my eyes. "Do _you _think I'm moody and morose?" I ask truly curious.

"Yes."

Wow. Flat out answer. It doesn't stop there, though. She goes on!

"I also think you and Aunt Alice are the perfect couple," she says.

"Thank you," I reply shocked.

"She's been in an asylum," Nessie makes a C shape with her right hand; "You're in need of a therapist. Fits perfectly." She made another C shape with her left hand then put them together to make a heart.

"Thank you," I say sarcastically.

"No problem." She smiles genuinely.

I roll my eyes again. "Well I'm not an emo, okay?"

"You don't know that."

"What?"

"I mean, _come on._ You loved _war_. That's a sign of sadomasochism."

"Where'd you learn that word?"

"Tracy and I were discussing words to describe you. That was one."

"Of course."

"You just need a better view on life."

I feel her eagerness creep up.

"Ok…?" I reply warily again expecting something to come.

"So Tracy's going to come over and we're going to fix you!"

"Fix me? What? No- I don't need fixing. I'm fine."

"Denial," a new voice rings through.

Tracy appears behind Nessie. I didn't hear her because for a human, she's unexpectedly quiet and her scent isn't as appealing as it should be so I didn't recognize a new smell at all.

"Jasper, you need help," Nessie says slowly, "We. Can. Help. You. Ok?"

I stand up ready to leave. Tracy shakes her head.

"No point in convincing him," she says, "Let's do this."

I could practically see her as an unlicensed surgeon pulling on their gloves and smiling creepily at their victim.

Then came 5 hours of torture.

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**You've seen Nessie question Jasper in her point of view. Now here's Nessie annoying him again in **_**his**_** point of view.**


	9. Renesmee questions Edward again

**Double update after all. After this one, there's 3 other people so if you make a request or review in an idea, don't expect it for another 3 or 4 chapters at least. I'm going to try to do another double update next time though to make things quicker. It's so hard being funny. Lol. That sounded weird.**

**This was requested by rayana1997.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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RPOV

Really, there is no reasoning with my family. I've come up with answers for them but they never listened! I had questions but they wouldn't answer.

I barge into my parents' room where my dad was lounging around on the bed.

"Dad? Why do you all have beds even though I'm the only one that sleeps?" I ask.

"Oh you know…" he trails off, "Reasons."

"What kinds of reasons?"

"Uhh… Because a bedroom isn't complete without a bed?"

"I've seen your old room in pictures. There was only a couch. Why is there a bed _now_?"

"For your mom."

"But we got this house _after_ she became a vampire."

"Well, we like to stay as human as possible."

"But you guys keep talking about how much Mom wanted to be a vampire and get away from being a human."

"It's for appearances, then."

"But no one ever comes here. Ever!"

"Then it's just in case you decide to sleep up here."

_I guess that's a reasonable reason._

"Why does Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper have beds then?"

"Same reason."

"Auntie Rose and Uncle Emmett?"

"Same reason."

_That can't be right._

"But Auntie Rose said not to come into her room at night."

_She said so herself. Something about quality time with Uncle Emmett._

"I don't know. Ask them then."

"But you can read minds! You would know."

"That's an invasion of privacy?" It sounded like a question.

"Why was that a question?"

"That wasn't a question."

"Yes it was. I heard it."

"You were mistaken."

Dad looked so sure of it but I was even surer of it.

"What are you hiding from me?"

"You got me! I have your birthday present in here somewhere. You should go now. And never talk to me about this conversation again. Now."

He sounded like he wanted to end this conversation quickly and as soon as possible.

"It's March."

March as in 6 months away from my birthday. It can't be belated and it can't be early.

"I wanted to be early!"

"… It's March."

"Yeah. I got that."

"… What- is it- is it like a car?"

"Sure… okay…"

"... In the bedroom?"

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**Awkward… The last thing a person wants is to talk to their children about what they do in their 'spare time'.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	10. Renesmee questions Charlie

**Sorry for not updating in like, a million years… I've been getting up late. And by late, I don't mean something like 10 am or 11 am—that's late for some… people whose identities will not be mentioned. I don't mean 1 or 2 or 3pm either which is considered the usual sleep in time. I mean, I'm practically nocturnal. I get up at 5…pm. Yeah, by that time, my parents are back from work and everyone's day is coming to an end… It's also when my scheduled virus scan is but since I'm asleep, I have to set it manually now…**

**This idea was from rayana1997.**

**Disclaimer: If you thought I owned Twilight… Do you think I'd get in trouble for lying and saying I did? Well I don't.**

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RPOV

"Hey, grandpa," I greet Charlie on one of our weekly visits.

"Hey kiddo," he says, "You know, you used to grow so fast and now it seems like you're not growing at all."

"Yeah…" I agree then add 'jokingly', "It's almost as if I stopped aging at the age of 7."

Charlie laughs nervously. "Yeah… As if."

I just smile innocently.

"Hey grandpa, do you think the Cullens are beautiful?" I ask him.

"Yes, I guess so," he answers, "It's like someone just decided to group together the most beautiful people on Earth and call them the Cullens."

"Really? You think _everyone_ here is beautiful?"

"I guess."

"Even me?"

"Especially you, you adorable young lady. Man, you're growing up."

"Well, that's okay. I won't be growing anymore."

"What?" He almost did a double take.

"Nothing. So you think everyone here is beautiful?"

"I guess so. Doesn't everyone?"

"Even _Carlisle_?" I ask incredulously.

"Well, yeah. Everyon--"

"But… he's a _married_ man!"

"I don't like hi--"

"Scratch that, he's a married _**man**_!"

"I don--"

"And you're a **man** too!"

"I know bu--"

"I have no hard feelings; in fact I support you but…"

"Everyone thinks they're beautiful, Nessie. I don't mean it that way."

"Well if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you jump too? Geez, have a mind of your own will you?"

"L--"

"So what _do _you think of Carlisle? Your own thoughts."

"I think he's a nice man, v--"

"Translation: I think he's_ fine_."

Charlie raises his eyebrow in question but keeps going anyway. "Very dedicated, l--"

"Translation: Hardworking is a turn on."

"As I was saying… Loyal…"

"Translation: Hard to get…. Sigh…"

"What are you trying to say?" He raises his eyebrow again.

"I'm just trying to understand how you think."

I was going to say more but then Dad snatched me away after apologizing briefly to Charlie. He sets me down in my room.

"You're grounded," Dad tells me.

"Aww!"

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**I'm gonna update like, 3 times today so I hope you review at least once!**


	11. Renesmee questions Leah

**Sometimes I'm so bored… I might not be able to update for a while because I have a party to go to, then there's the doctor and my lessons… So yeah…**

**This idea was requested by Twilightandbluebloodsgurl4eva.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

"Hey Leah," I greet her on my way to Jake's house.

"Hey," she says sounding gloomy.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Nothing. Life sucks."

"That's ok. It could be worse."

"I know but…"

"Like, you could have imprinted on a married man that doesn't love you as much as you love him."

"Where did you get that?"

"You could have imprinted on Seth."

"Wh--"

"You could have imprinted on Jake even though he imprinted on me!"

"Hey…"

"So what's it like to be you?" I ask.

"What are you _talking_ about?"

"Is it lonely?" I go on sadly, "Or… is it a pocket full of sunshine?"

She just raises her eyebrow at me.

"I'm sure somewhere out there, there is a person for you to imprint on!" I exaggerate by making a rainbow motion with my hands.

"Well? How's life now?" I ask.

"Still sucky," she answers.

"Why? Have you imprinted on Seth?" I gasp. "Have you?!"

"No, I haven't."

"Then you don't really have anything to mope about," I point out.

"Ye--"

"So what, you're just naturally emotional?"

"W--"

"Boring. Why don't you take up a cross stitch class?"

* * *

**It's getting really hard to get ideas. I mean yeah… so yeah… If you request something, add in a question and I'll work from there!**


	12. Renesmee questions Seth

**This was requested by Twilightandbluebloodsgurl4eva.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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RPOV

"Where's Jake?" I ask Seth.

He looks up from the TV. "Oh yeah, he said he was going to be back in a few minutes."

"So Seth, how's it like not imprinting?" I ask him.

"I'm not the only one that didn't imprint, you know."

"I know but it must be _very hard_ for you."

"… Not really. I just live normally."

"You know what'd suck?! If you got married and then you imprinted on their sister!"

"I'm starting to question your sanity."

"Yeah, well, I'm starting to question _your_ sanity!"

"How about this: I just won't get married."

"So you'll live alone _forever_?!"

"Not forever."

"So you're just going to die and abandon your pack?!"

"No… I'm--"

"At least they have excuses! They imprinted!"

"I sa--"

"That's very selfish, Seth."

"Excuse me?"

"Very selfish indeed."

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**Now you know what happens when I run out of ideas. I stop being funny. Go ahead. Tell me it sucked. In the form of a review. Go ahead. Go ahead and write a strongly worded review.**


	13. Renesmee questions Carlisle

**Ok so I think I'll do a double update. Yay!**

**This chapter was requested and made from ideas by rayana1997, ink-stained-sleves, Cullen vs. Black 120 (without the spaces because for some reason, this document thingy is not letting me type it up and same with the next chapter) and ItachiDream.**

**A bit more OOC in this chapter because I can't be Edward. Heck, no one can.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

EPOV (Yup, Edward)

I was playing piano when I heard my daughter's thoughts. For some reason, Nessie's been really curious lately. That's a bad thing. I stop playing and listen in just in case.

"So grandpa, Emmett told me what you and Esme do in your free time," I heard Nessie say to Carlisle.

_Emmett… _Carlisle thought angrily.

I was wondering what she was thinking about at that time but she got some annoying song stuck in her head.

"What did you do in your free time before you met Esme?" she went on.

_What's _that_ supposed to mean?_ Carlisle thought irritatedly. _How dare Emmett say what I do in _my_ spare time!_

"Are you trying to say that I couldn't get laid?" Carlisle asked. I could see his angry face from Nessie's thoughts.

_Because I totally can, _Carlisle thought.

Nessie's thoughts become confused. I laugh quietly knowing Carlisle's got it all wrong.

"What?"

_What I do with my _wife_ is no one's business! _Carlisle's thoughts went on. _What's a little kid that happened to look 17 doing with my private life?_

"Because I could if I wanted. Just to let you know."

_Oh no, what if she knows about our games?! _Carlisle thought frantically, _What if she knows _everything_?!?!_

"What?"

"What do you _mean_ 'what'?"

"What are you _talking _about?" Nessie asks confused.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? What are _you _talking about?"

"I'm just saying, Emmett told me you and Esme buy things and rearrange stuff," Nessie explained, "Before that, what did you do?"

"Oh…"

_Oops,_ Carlisle thought.

"What did you _think_ I was talking about? What does getting laid even mean?"

"… Uh… So as I was saying, in my free time… uh… let's see… wow, uh… I read books, I guess."

"So you didn't even have another mate?"

"No, I was going solo."

"I mean, you know, you've lived so long so… really? Not even like a short time companion?"

"No…?"

"Seriously? What was all that about getting laid?"

"I thought you said you didn't know what that meant," Carlisle snapped anxiously.

"I don't," Nessie remarked, "I heard it when people were talking about dating and stuff but I don't know what it means."

"Well, I said I could if I wanted. I didn't want to."

"Were you like, a hermit? Are you _serious_?"

"Yes...?"

"Yes you were a hermit? Or yes you're serious?"

"Yes I'm serious."

"I see… you know, if Esme doesn't like you I know someone who does."

"Esme _does _like me."

"You don't know that. Anyway, what about Charlie?"

Carlisle's thoughts show Nessie's face who's smiling eagerly. Are you serious? _Charlie_? Not even a girl?

"What about at least one blind date?" Nessie suggests.

"No thanks," Carlisle declines. Nessie scowls.

"Fine, but you know what? I'm _sooo_ shunning you now!" Nessie stomps away but comes back, "But first, I wanna know where babies come from."

I can see her tap her foot impatiently from Carlisle's thoughts. Oh boy.

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**It's hard acting as Edward so I was just like 'Whatever, he can be un-Edward'. Carlisle's not like himself a bit because it's hard to be Carlisle.**


	14. Renesmee questions Emmett

**This was requested by porchelvr101 and Cullen vs. Black 120.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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RPOV

I don't get why everyone dislikes Uncle Emmett… They said he was stupid but… don't all the Cullens have perfect 4.0s? Does that sound stupid at all? I walk up to Uncle Emmett.

"Why does everyone hate you?" I ask him.

He raises an eyebrow. "They do _not_ hate me," he denies, "I'm a people person!"

"Oh so even when you were human, people liked you?"

"Yeah, of course."

"So you had a lot of girlfriends?"

"Well, no… not really. But that's because I didn't like any of the girls."

"I think the feeling was mutual."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, nothing. Did you even have any special talents?"

"That question could have done without the disbelief in your tone."

I roll my eyes. "A _lot_ of things could have been done without disbelief."

"Well, anyway… I was the most talented person in my class!"

"Really?" My tone sounded extremely dubious.

"There you go again, not believing me."

"Oh sorry. Really??" I changed my tone to sound high and happy.

Uncle Emmett scoffs. "FYI, I can write poetry," he says defensively.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you go get one of your poems and show it to me? I'll see whether or not it's _good_."

He scoffs again. "I was just about to get it."

Uncle Emmett disappears for a second and comes back holding a notebook.

"Here!" he hands me the notebook and I flip through the pages.

"Uncle Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"Which ones are yours?"

"What? All of them."

"I don't like _all_ of them."

"I meant most of them."

"I don't like _most_ of them."

"Which ones do you like?"

"This one."

"Yeah… You know what? I think I accidentally got someone else's book. I'm gonna go get _mine_ and I'm going to tell you right now, that poem right there, yeah, it's mine. I did that."

"In someone else's book?"

"Yeah, I probably thought it was mine and wrote down my genius."

"Right… Oh and Uncle Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"Since when did 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' belong to you?" I ask flipping to a page I missed.

"You know what? Let's not be critical."

He disappears again and comes back with another book.

"Here."

"Uncle Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"This says 'By Jasper Whitlock' on the cover."

"Yeah… That's the… title of the collection."

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**I just wanted to say, I won't be updating until I update my other stories so it might not be for a while because I am really good at procrastinating… It's like my hidden talent. Then there's the fact I got an urge to do more sports this summer so I'll probably end up taking swimming (like I always do) and tennis (because there's nothing else I can think of).**

**Review in your ideas and I'll get right on it as soon as I finish updating my other stories…**


	15. Renesmee questions Mike yes, Mike

**Have you ever gone go karting? Well it's fun. As soon as I get my licence, I'm gonna try the sprint kart… I should have tried the formula track… It's for ages 14 and up and it goes fast. Faster than the one I went on. It really is fun and I finally got the hang of braking.**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Twilight.**

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RPOV

We were taking a small vacation to Forks. There, we ran into someone my parents knew.

"Edward?" a man dressed in a suit greeted Dad and hugged him. "It's been so long!"

"Mike?" Dad asked incredulously, "You're a businessman now?"

"Yeah," Mike—where have I heard of him before?—said, "Man, you guys look young as ever! It's like you never aged!"

Now I remember! Mike!

"I heard of you!" I say pointing at him, "Mo—Bella told me about you."

"All good things I hope," he jokes.

I laugh. "Nope!"

He laughs awkwardly. "Who are you?"

"I'm Renesmee."

"Nice to meet you."

"Can't say I'd say the same."

I grin. Mike just laughs nervously.

"So you're a businessman?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he answers eagerly, "I'm the owner of my own business."

I nod. "Is it running well?"

"Yes."

"Legally?"

You can see the anger and confusion in his expression. "Yes," he replies stiffly.

We shift into a silence.

"So you used to hit on Bella?" I ask, "Follow her around like a puppy?"

He laughs. "Eric and Tyler did the same too."

"I'll ask them when I meet them."

"Right."

"So do you have a wife right now?"

"Yes, I do. I actually married Jessica. Jessica Stanley."

"Really?!"

"Yes, really."

"You actually got someone to be your girlfriend let alone marry you?"

"Yes, what did you think?"

"That she'd bail on you!"

"I see… Listen… I have to go and leave."

I could have sworn I heard him mutter something like '_And go somewhere far far away from this kid._' But that might have been my imagination.

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**It may suck but just so you know, I take the slightest ideas even if you just say 'Oh, I wonder if…' yeah that's who I am. I didn't know how to make Mike uncomfortable since Nessie wouldn't know much about him. Sorry.**

**I take ideas so go ahead. PLEASE REVIEW! (even if it's strongly worded ones)**


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